by 
QUACK QUACK MOTHAFUCKA.
"WHOOOOO DARES AWAKEN THE GREAT DUCKKKK?" the ginormous thing bellows from its spot on the pond.
Whoa. Where did this one come from?
"NO UNWORTHY SOUL MAY GAZE UPON MY POOL OF PONDINESSSSSS. PROVE YOURSELF WORTHYYYY, OR YOU'LL BE DROWNED IN THE MUCKKKK. QUACK QUACK, QUACK QUACK, BOW DOWN TO YOUR HIGHNESSSSS."
Oh lovely; this one's a Dr Seuss fanatic. A much more conflicting one, because you're still not sure whether to feel terrified, or a strong urge to poke it. For now we'll go with scary; it did threaten to drown you...somehow. Cautiously, you say, "Yes....that's me"
